Two year olds who won't stay in their beds...any advice?

[sarah&chris]

Hi folks,

As our two year old girls were beginning to clamber out of their cots, we have just got them their first beds.

We need some advice from anyone out there who has had something similar!

It is a nightmare!

The first night they ran round and round the upstairs of our house but we said that if they got out of bed three times, they would have to sleep in their cots. This worked well for seven nights until they successful climbed out of their cots. We've put a stair gate at their door so they can't get out. We also have a really good bedtime routine which really calmed them down and worked really well so that they drifted off to sleep peacefully in their cots and without us in the room. Now, we complete the bed time routine, kiss their calm, sleepy, angelic faces goodnight (they look like they could drift off any minute) and before we stand up, they are up out of their beds and causing havoc! If one child is sleepy, the other is guaranteed to get up and start pestering them. Their excitement just escalates and escalates.

We have tried just leaving them to it, but we have to intervene repeatedly because they were pulling each others hair, pulling the wall lamp cord (we thought was securely nailed to the wall) off the wall, playing with the plugs, taking their nappies off etc - I do not believe they would ever just get themselves to bed because they are tired. When it is just one of us in to put them to bed, we spend a couple of hours (at least) going from one to the other and putting them back in bed. We are trying to be consistent but feel that we are clutching at straws and the noise is disturbing our four year old.

Does anyone have any ideas??? (pleeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaasssse!)

Sarah & Chris

xxx

[jojo1403]

Hi
A friend told me that she was advised to tie the door up (!) so the child could only just peek through the door a little, but not come out. This way they would get bored and go back to bed, ha, ha!! Not sure if youre are in the the same room though?

I haven't got mine out of cots yet so can't really offer any other words of wisdom, and I'm not sure that sounds like a great technique either!

Jo

[sue77]

Hi there,
Shall keep you posted as we have just done the very same thing tonight. However, we had to 'police' things a couple of months ago as they were getting out of their cots easily and similar things happened -we thought we'd have to get toddler beds that next weekend. However 4 or 5 nights of just return, return, return, minimal or no interaction, repeating 'it's bedtime into your cot' to them if we said anything at all, and yes having to do that every 5 minutes for about 3 hours per night or there abouts meant we broke it and they didn't bother to climb out after that. An exhausting 5 nights but it worked!
Having said that think we've got to go there all over again after tonight... 9.50pm before both asleep ha ha - however we anticipated that the first night. At least we've had a couple of months without them getting up so that we could properly organise their rooms etc. We're going to do the same again - hover near their rooms so that we can hear them get out of their bed and therefore return them to bed before they get the 'reward' of play/giggles/mischief etc. We'll let you know how we get on. We learnt that if we went downstairs we sometimes didn't hear them and DH even checked on Gemma once, looked through the door and thought she was snuggled up in her duvet but in fact she was behind the door hiding from him quiet as a mouse - she then got up to all sorts of mischief unbeknowns to us. Hence the standing near their bedroom door trick. Also do they share a room? We had to separate ours as Will was keen to muck about, sing, escape etc and Gemma just wanted to sleep. She settled much better after we separated them. Just a thought - quite a big step especially if room an issue but made an big difference to us as Will is currently the ring leader??!
Anyway hope that's of some use. You've probably tried all that already judging from your post. Shall let you know how we get on meantime too with this tactic.
Good Luck!
Sue-Ella
Chairperson
Mummy to Will & Gemma (Age 2)

[Moodyjudy]

Hi

I can sympathise as I still struggle sometimes for the lunch time nap and my two seem to go down later and later at night-8.35pm last night. What I have found that works for me is that I separated them for a few times and not for long-if I leave them in the spare room they can open the door and if Angus goes into our bed he goes into the cupboards. I have also found the trick of shutting the door in their room works. Again not for long as I don't like them feeling locked in-even though there's a stairgate on their door anyway. An added complication has been that they often want to take their nappies off which has largely been resolved by potty training them so they are in pants in the day and don't seem to mind the nappies for sleep as much as they did. Also I bought blinds which I thought was a complete waste of money but then realised if they were down it stopped them opening the shutters in the room and sitting watching the world when I thought they were asleep.

So you can see -no answers really just a case of grinning and bearing it. I was lulled into a false sense of security with my 3 step children who all went to bed with no fuss. Guess it's just one of the disadvantages of a pair egging each other on.

I had planned to deal with all this at 3 years but my two had different ideas as soon as they hit 2. Becky really loves her sleep and would be a dream if it weren't for her big brother bouncing on her head!

All the best

Jude

[sarah&chris]

thanks! I checked for replies a few times after I posted the message but must of missed your replies.

Made me laugh about Gemma hiding behind the door! I would be ideal to separate the girls but we don't have another room one can go into. I do wonder tho if we should swap one of the girls with Joseph for a while although I don't think he will be too keen on that idea! I remember going through this with Joseph - I put him back to bed 110 times on the first night but it made a drastic difference and we'd resolved it in about 3 days. It feels much more complicated because the girls keep winding each other up and physically its so hard putting one into bed and immediately turning round to put the other down and then going back to the first. How do you manage??!! we are now sitting at the end of their beds and staying their til they fall asleep - we need an exit strategy I think tho!

Amelie fell asleep last night at the end of her bed - we meant to go back and put her on her pillow but forgot until we heard a massive bump from upstairs. Incredibly she seemed to have slept through it! She was trying to snuggle up to the floor!

keep me posted with how things are going for you!

Sarah

x

[gizmorgan]

our 2 year olds were exactly the same a few months ago and I was tearing my hair out every night until they finally went to sleep at 10pm! We solved it about a month ago - I bought black out material from the cloth shop and pinned it round the window frame so not even a little light comes in. I then close their door. Suddenly all the antics did not seem so much fun in the pitch black (you literally cannot see your hand in front of your face when the lights go out). They are now asleep within 10 minutes. They both have a toy animal that gives off a glow and plays music so they play with these until they drop off. One thing to point out is though neither of my twins get a daytime nap so they are exhausted at bed time. good luck!

[sarah&chris]

yup, think I need to black out the room, - where did you get your glow in the dark toys? - I like that idea!

We ditched the idea of sitting on their beds before they go to sleep after watching the sleep programme that was on the other week - now we are doing the rapid return thing where we put them straight back to bed if they get out. It is taking such a lot of patience though - and thats not easy at the end of a long day. Its also doing my back and my hip in and my husband can't do it because his back is really bad anyway. After a week of doing it, it is still taking an hour of putting them back - we are picking them up about 100 times in that hour! Its pretty frantic to start with,even with a very relaxing bedtime routine after which they look totally chilled out.

Does any one have any experience of the rapid return actually working if two children are getting out? I feel I need some hope!

cheers

Sarah

[gizmorgan]

I got the glow in the dark toys at tescos. one is a lion and the other is an elephant. their tummies light up and play a tune. the rapid return thing never worked for me with the 2 of them. whilst i was returning one, the other was climbing out. they both thought this was an excellent game and squealed with laughter whilst my back was killing me. some nights i was close to tears with it all. try the blackout blind. i'm sure it will work.

Karen